Eric Northman loves me. I've known it for a while now, but I honestly was never sure he'd actually get around to saying it. I wasn't sure he could say it. He's always talking about how he believes vampires can't love, or vampires can't be happy. I wasn't sure he recognized what it is he feels for me, even though I've known he feels it. I can feel he loves me when he holds me, or when he sees me when he wakes up, or even just when I'm heating up a blood for him. I've felt it, but I didn't really know if he'd say it. I didn't think he knew he loved me.
I never wanted to push him on it either. We've been dating since the beginning of June. That's almost six months, now. I wasn't sure about him at first, and our first date was somewhat of a disaster, but now I can't picture my life without him. I love waking up next to him, I love falling asleep while he holds me, I love making love with him, I love making meals with him, I love entertaining with him, and I love how he trusts me, and I love being able to trust him.
Certain things still make me uncomfortable, of course. I don't like when he spends too much on me, but he has gotten better about it. A lot better, really. And he's truly getting a lot more patient with my friends. He let Tara quit her job at the casino without a fuss, and is even agreeing to go to Shreveport with me to help out with the baby and all that. He didn't try to fight with Serge at Thanksgiving, or even insult him when I explained how many times he and Tara were bonded. Actually, he was great with all my friends at Thanksgiving. He seemed pretty relaxed, talking to Waylon while Waylon pigged out on all the wrong foods.
And now the holidays are here, and I've always thought they were completely romantic. Bill never wanted to do anything for them, of course, but to me they've always been about spending time with family and loved ones. I'm sure we'll have Jason over, maybe even Claude, but I'm just excited to spend them with Eric.
Decorating yesterday couldn't have gone better. We got the perfect tree, even if the way we found it was a little unconventional. I wonder if many couples just pick the tree they're standing next to when they stop to kiss for a while. Eric carried it to the car and into the house like it weighed nothing. I could hardly believe it, though I was a little worried about the whole thing. He's still healing, and I'm pretty sure carrying trees around doesn't help with that. Still, I didn't want to ask him about it and risk hurting his pride. He seemed fine with it, so I let him carry the tree. It was impressive. It usually takes Jason, Lafayette, Hoyt, and Terry to get the tree inside, and even then, it's more of a dragging than carrying.
Stringing the lights was so much easier with Eric there too. Not that I ever forget, but I'm always surprised at how tall he is. He reached the top of the tree with no problems at all, and I was pretty pleased with that. I always hate having to climb up on the ladder for that part. Somehow it never goes well.
Hanging the ornaments was a little tougher, only cause Eric kept coming up behind me and whispering dirty things in my ear. Not that I really complained, in fact I encouraged him just a little bit, but it still wasn't terribly productive. Those dirty things led to sweet things, though, and that was when he told me he loved me. I can still hardly believe it, even after he showed me just how much he loved me under the tree once we finished decorating.
Plenty of things are still uncertain. I don't really know what to do about my job. I'm hoping to talk to Sam about that tonight, among other things. Fangtasia still needs to be rebuilt, and Eric still needs to find a base of operations for his area. There are still a bunch of witches running around who need to be stopped.
I do know that Eric loves me, though, and that I love him. The rest we can figure out, but I know that's what matters most. We'll make our bond permanent by bonding again when it's right, and I can't wait for that night, because I really do believe him when he tells me there are many, many more years of decorating Christmas trees in our future.