Thursday, July 8, 2010
What have I gotten myself into?
The thought crosses my mind nearly every waking hour, because really, what else am I supposed to think about?
Eric's been chasing me since the moment we met. He never bothered to hide his lust for me, no matter how I denied mine for him. I've told him no for as long as I can remember, 'till recently. This trip... I don't know, something's changed. Maybe it's the dates he's taken on, or maybe it's how he lets me see another side of him. A caring side that I wouldn't have expected from Eric Northman that speaks to somethin' inside me, no matter how silly that sounds. He's not a bad man, not a bad vampire. He cares for people, and has his own morals, even if they don't exactly match up with mine.
Maybe seein' that allowed me to see other possibilities for us. Maybe that's what finally got me to stop keepin' him at an arm's length. Maybe it's just that I couldn't keep my hands off him any longer.
It's not like we've... you know, done it. It started off with just kissing, and that led to, well, more, like I guess I should've expected. I let him bite me... twice. So far. So many of our nights seem to end up in our bed, but it's not like that's all it is.
He's taken me out, shown me around, shown that he really knows me from the different things we've done together. I couldn't have asked for better dates. Or better endings to them. Dear Lord, it does not get better than that...
But what have I really gotten myself into? This is Eric Northman. Eric Northman! He's pretty much the guy parents warn their daughters to stay away from. He'll never be happy with just one woman, at least... I don't think, not just me. Maybe other girls are content with just sex, but it's not just that either. We're important to each other. There are feelings involved, and... I don't know that I won't get invested with something.
What if I start wantin' something I can't have? Because, let's face it. I might be Eric's now, but that doesn't really make him mine...