Sunday, November 14, 2010
Okay, so I can't really say I rescued Eric. From the freezer, maybe, but not from the fire.
I stayed outside Fangtasia all day, alternating between trying to find ways to sneak into the building, arguing with firemen, and sitting there waiting for the sun to set. Every minute was painful, knowing there was nothing I could do to help, but I had to stay and wait for my opportunity.
Once the sun set, it seemed the firemen became less determined to watch the building. The fire was out, and sure, it might not have been structurally sound, but they weren't anxious to stay hanging around a vampire club after dark. That was fine by me, especially since it gave me the opening I needed to sneak around the back and get into the club while they weren't looking.
The place was a disaster. Every room was burned out, there wasn't a surface that wasn't scorched. It was a mess. I don't know how they'll rebuild it. Eric's office was just... painful to look at. I felt sick when I saw what was inside, so I hurried past.
I called for him, but there was no answer. Finally after a little while searching, I heard some shuffling from the walk-in freezer. I knocked on the door, opened it, and there was Eric. He was freezing, and burned, and bloody, and it tore at my heart. I needed more than anything else to take care of him. He was disoriented, and not himself. I made sure no one was outside and gave him my jacket to cover himself before leading him outside. I took him to my car, and he asked me where I'd take him. I told him I'd take him to my house, and he didn't argue or insult Bon Temps once.
This wasn't the assertive, decisive Eric who's always in control. This wasn't the vampire who meticulously manipulates every situation to his advantage. This Eric needed to be cared for, to be protected, to be loved. And that was exactly what I wanted to do for him. I'd been so close to losing him like I've lost so many others I've loved. My parents, Gran, those losses nearly destroyed me. I knew losing Eric would break my heart beyond any repair.
I couldn't stand him when I met him, and I certainly didn't trust him, but over the past six months, he's really proved himself to me. After dating him for four of those, he's become so important to my life. It's not empty when I say I love him. It's not naive or meaningless or fleeting. It's not the blind trust I had with Bill. Eric's had to work for every ounce of trust I have in him, and he's earned it. He's saved me, time and time again, whether it's from physical danger or emotional pain. He's told me the truth, whether I wanted to hear it or not, whether it helped him to tell me or hurt him. He's taken care of me when I've fought him on it every step of the way.
Now, it's my turn to take care of him, and I'm happy to do it. Not that I'm happy he's hurt, so far from it, but I'm happy he's letting me take care of him when he clearly needs someone to lean on. He's trusting me, and for someone as guarded as Eric, that means a lot. I cleaned him off, which wasn't easy, and heated some of the blood I took from his house for him. He drank while I cut his clothes from his body, which wasn't easy, given that they were caked in frozen blood and ash and who knows what else. He didn't want me to see his wounds, but I wouldn't let him shy away from me. I handled it, though it hurt me to see each one, and there were so many.
I made him tell me what happened, every bit of it, even though he didn't think I could handle it. It hurt to listen to, I'm not gonna lie. It made me angry, and sad, and it broke my heart to hear how these two witches could do this to him. He had holes in his body where he'd torn himself from the stakes that pinned him to his desk. No human could've survived even half the injuries he sustained. It made me sick so many ways over. Everyone says vampires are cruel. Humans can be just as bad.
I ran a bath for us once he'd had as much blood as he could handle for the moment, and had to drain it twice because it got so dirty. I washed his hair, his body, and let him rest against me the whole time, trying to avoid hurting him worse. I think it helped to clean off what we could. I told him of how I'd tried to help him, and he said he'd felt me there before sunrise. It was some relief to hear that it helped him, though I would've gladly gone in after him if given the chance. He confessed that this wasn't the worst thing to happen to him this year, and I made him tell me what else had gone on. There was so much I didn't know, and nearly all of it painful to hear. Eric's stronger than anyone gives him credit for. It's no wonder he's so guarded. He seemed to let some of that go around me, and I think it was a relief for both of us. I asked him to drink from me, and he bit my wrist. He seemed to feel a little better after that.
After that, we got into bed. It was close enough to dawn that we were both exhausted. We were both safe, and clean, and dry, and it would've been easy to fall asleep on any other night, but I didn't want to close my eyes. I was too afraid of waking up and finding him gone. I'd come too close to losing him to want him out of my sight. He seemed to feel the same, because he asked me if I'd be there when he rose. I said yes, of course. How could I leave him? The idea of leaving Eric alone when he was so vulnerable was unthinkable. He finally convinced me to sleep, and since it was close to dawn, I'm pretty sure he followed quickly. He needed it worse than I did.
I stayed in bed with him all that day. Hundr joined us for a bit, which was nice. He seemed glad to see Eric too, though I didn't let him jump all over the sleeping vampire like I normally do. There was no reason for him to wake up sore. When Eric woke again, he was hungry. I brought him to the kitchen and made both of us breakfast. I microwaved some of the blood from Shreveport for him, and I made scrambled egg with cheese and bacon and some toast for myself. It was natural, organizing everything, making conversation with him as I moved around the kitchen. It was sort of effortless, and even Eric remarked on how nice it was just to sit and talk and eat with each other.
It's really the vision of a home I've always wanted and never thought I could have. Making breakfast for me and my man after waking up, making conversation, exchanging smiles while I cooked. Sure, we were eating breakfast when I normally eat dinner, and it was moonlight instead of the sun shining through the window, but none of that mattered. It felt so right.
I told Kayley that Eric was attacked by witches, when she called on behalf of Roman. I'm a little angry he didn't call himself. The witches were after him in the first place, and not only did he not help when Eric needed him, but he didn't even call. He must've felt Eric's pain too, but he was too busy to respond to my text? He had to ask his girlfriend to call for him? I adore Kayley, and of course this concerns her, I'm just angry Roman's letting Eric down. I felt the same way when Pam called, and I think Eric did too, since he commented on how she didn't return my call when I called her asking for help. I put her on speaker when she called, and Eric mostly spoke. He said she didn't sound worried about him because she could tell he was being well taken care of. I'm going to make sure he is.
After breakfast, I talked Eric into watching The Godfather. It wasn't hard, considering I'm pretty sure he would've done anything I'd ask him to right now. I don't like having that power over him, and I'm going to make sure not to use it. I picked The Godfather cause I thought it'd help him understand Angelo a little better, and he said Angelo was sent by his Maker as a punishment. I figured if they understood each other a little better, it wouldn't be such a punishment for each of them. I really want to help Eric, and this seemed like an easy enough way. Thankfully, we got through the movie before our cuddling turned into something a little less clothed.
I don't know what the future holds for me and Eric. I've been worried in the past about growing old while he stays the same age, worried about getting all wrinkled and ugly while he's still gorgeous, worried about him getting tired of me. Now, I think we'll be lucky if we live long enough to have those problems. I don't think Eric's going to get tired of me. I think we're connected past that point. We're both in danger every day of our lives (or un-lives). I want to enjoy every day with him, not worry about the future.
He asked me to bond with him a third time. A third bond is permanent. I'll always feel him, and he'll always feel me. We'll always be with each other. He told me I could have time to wait and consider it, but I already know my answer. So few things in life last. People die, people change, move away, start new lives. Nothing lasts forever, but some things in life are worth fighting like hell to keep. What I feel for Eric is one of them. He's offering the chance to have this bond with him forever, something he's never wanted with any other human before. I want that. I want the chance to be with him for as long as possible, and I want to do everything in my power to keep him, to keep what we have. He said we shouldn't rush into it, and I agree.
We'll bond again when we're ready, and for now, I'm just happy to have him safe and with me.