Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Oh My Goodness!

When I woke up tonight (because it's basically always night here), I woke up as Eric's wife. His WIFE!

It's so crazy to try to wrap my head around that, even after the beautiful, beautiful ceremony last night. I'm eternally bonded to Eric Northman, from now on, for the rest of my life.

The ceremony really was better than I ever could've expected. Liam did a fantastic job, and was completely serious, despite his usual demeanor. He only thought about sex a few times, and even then, it was easy enough to block him out, since I held Eric's hand through the whole thing. He was thinking about Bianca, who was obviously thinking about him too. She looked at him all mushily throughout the whole ceremony. I don't think I've ever seen her look that way at anyone before. She told him she loves him, when it was all over. I'm really happy for the two of them.

Even Brier and Jenny were kind of romantic during it. There were a few fears expressed that Kristen would go after Jenny, since she just learned to fence, but both girls teared up almost as much as I did during the ceremony. There was lots of crying, since Lacey shed a few tears too as she held onto Jack and Wes, but luckily Claude brought tissues for all, and shared them as he clung to Waylon and insisted Niall was going to kill him over the ceremony. I hope he was just being dramatic. Pam got pretty teary-eyed too, which meant a lot to me. Lily kept telling us we looked pretty, which was beyond sweet, and it was wonderful to have Lucian and JoAnna there, especially when they brought up their own bonding.

It was so meaningful having our friends and family there to support us, but through most of the ceremony, all I saw as Eric. Liam spoke for a bit, and then Eric and I got to say our vows, which I'll freely admit I cried through. Then Liam explained the meaning of the bond to everyone, and Eric and I both said, "I do." Then I repeated after Liam, and Eric bit me. He warned me that it would hurt a little, and sure it stung a bit, but I barely noticed the pain. Eric's bitten me a bunch before, usually during some very, very private moments, but this time... I didn't even think to be embarrassed others were witnessing it. It wasn't about sex, or anything like that. I was giving him my blood as a symbol of my love and commitment, and it was easy to feel through the bond what it both meant to us. When Eric closed the wounds, Liam had Eric repeat the words I had just finished, and made a small cut in his neck for me to drink from, like an equal.

He bent down for me, cause he's too tall for me to reach otherwise, and I drank from him as much as I dared. What a rush! It's always a little disorienting, and I still haven't gotten used to it, but I don't think I really want to, because then it wouldn't be so special. And it was special. Eric really, really liked it, I mean really liked it, and I got the feeling it was a little hard for him to control himself. He did, though, and so did I, though that was tough too, and Liam pronounced our bond sacred and sealed as we kissed.

It was magical, really. All of our friends and family were so happy for us. I can only smile remembering it. It seemed everyone had sex on the brain as we went back to the hotel, which means cake was put off until later tonight, which is just fine by me. Eric and I went upstairs to celebrate privately, and as he set me down on the bed, he surprised me one more time.

He knelt by the bed, and he pulled out a ring.

I was speechless.

It's beautiful, obviously, and more expensive than anything I'd ever be comfortable wearing, but it doesn't look new, either. I get the feeling that Eric's had it for a while, which just confuses me. Despite how nervous the probable price of the ring makes me, I couldn't say no. How do you say no to a ring from the man you just bonded yourself to for eternity, and promised to spend the rest of your life with? From the vampire who thinks of you as his wife?

I couldn't, of course. But the rings, the "I do"s, the vows... It's all stuff you'd expect in a wedding. And it wasn't a wedding. We're not actually married. It's don't like to think that way, not when I'm wearing his ring on my finger and Eric's thinking of me as his wife, but... I was brought up very traditionally. This wasn't a wedding. And... I want to marry him. I want to be able to think of him as my husband as much as he thinks of me as his wife. I know Eric has a point when he says that bondings are more meaningful, that they can't be dissolved with a piece of paper and a divorce, but... it's hard to change your way of thinking when that's the way you've been brought up.

Don't get me wrong. I love Eric. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm going to do everything I would if he were my husband, and I'm going to try my hardest to think of us as married. I just... wish we could've had that traditional, white wedding too, with all our friends, with what's left of my family... Maybe it's human, and maybe it's silly. I'm not gonna say anything to him. I really am so excited about our bonding ceremony and the trip we're on, and I'm so excited to be Eric's wife.

Tonight is going to be about celebration. We'll have cake, and I think Eric's setting up some sort of surprise for our trip. He seems more excited than usual about it, so I can only imagine what it'll be. There's so much to celebrate, for us and for all of the friends that're with us. I don't think I could be more excited to share it all with them. Everything seems to be changing, and for once, it seems to be for the better!