He Loves Me

Eric Northman loves me. I've known it for a while now, but I honestly was never sure he'd actually get around to saying it. I wasn't sure he could say it. He's always talking about how he believes vampires can't love, or vampires can't be happy. I wasn't sure he recognized what it is he feels for me, even though I've known he feels it. I can feel he loves me when he holds me, or when he sees me when he wakes up, or even just when I'm heating up a blood for him. I've felt it, but I didn't really know if he'd say it. I didn't think he knew he loved me.

I never wanted to push him on it either. We've been dating since the beginning of June. That's almost six months, now. I wasn't sure about him at first, and our first date was somewhat of a disaster, but now I can't picture my life without him. I love waking up next to him, I love falling asleep while he holds me, I love making love with him, I love making meals with him, I love entertaining with him, and I love how he trusts me, and I love being able to trust him.

Certain things still make me uncomfortable, of course. I don't like when he spends too much on me, but he has gotten better about it. A lot better, really. And he's truly getting a lot more patient with my friends. He let Tara quit her job at the casino without a fuss, and is even agreeing to go to Shreveport with me to help out with the baby and all that. He didn't try to fight with Serge at Thanksgiving, or even insult him when I explained how many times he and Tara were bonded. Actually, he was great with all my friends at Thanksgiving. He seemed pretty relaxed, talking to Waylon while Waylon pigged out on all the wrong foods.

And now the holidays are here, and I've always thought they were completely romantic. Bill never wanted to do anything for them, of course, but to me they've always been about spending time with family and loved ones. I'm sure we'll have Jason over, maybe even Claude, but I'm just excited to spend them with Eric.

Decorating yesterday couldn't have gone better. We got the perfect tree, even if the way we found it was a little unconventional. I wonder if many couples just pick the tree they're standing next to when they stop to kiss for a while. Eric carried it to the car and into the house like it weighed nothing. I could hardly believe it, though I was a little worried about the whole thing. He's still healing, and I'm pretty sure carrying trees around doesn't help with that. Still, I didn't want to ask him about it and risk hurting his pride. He seemed fine with it, so I let him carry the tree. It was impressive. It usually takes Jason, Lafayette, Hoyt, and Terry to get the tree inside, and even then, it's more of a dragging than carrying.

Stringing the lights was so much easier with Eric there too. Not that I ever forget, but I'm always surprised at how tall he is. He reached the top of the tree with no problems at all, and I was pretty pleased with that. I always hate having to climb up on the ladder for that part. Somehow it never goes well.

Hanging the ornaments was a little tougher, only cause Eric kept coming up behind me and whispering dirty things in my ear. Not that I really complained, in fact I encouraged him just a little bit, but it still wasn't terribly productive. Those dirty things led to sweet things, though, and that was when he told me he loved me. I can still hardly believe it, even after he showed me just how much he loved me under the tree once we finished decorating.

Plenty of things are still uncertain. I don't really know what to do about my job. I'm hoping to talk to Sam about that tonight, among other things. Fangtasia still needs to be rebuilt, and Eric still needs to find a base of operations for his area. There are still a bunch of witches running around who need to be stopped.

I do know that Eric loves me, though, and that I love him. The rest we can figure out, but I know that's what matters most. We'll make our bond permanent by bonding again when it's right, and I can't wait for that night, because I really do believe him when he tells me there are many, many more years of decorating Christmas trees in our future.

November Gifts

Now that it's the new month, I realized I'm so behind on posting gifts from people! Here are some wonderful things people gave me last month:

From my Eric. It's too much, but it's beautiful, and the flowers went to Gran's grave.

From Lacey as a thank you gift for Thanksgiving dinner.

From Alyx as a thank you gift for Thanksgiving dinner.

From Jo on Thanksgiving, brought to the house.

From Sookeh on Thanksgiving. She's one of a kind.

From Lacey, to go on the tree when Eric and I decorate tonight.

I'm so lucky to have such wonderful friends who think of me like this.

Thanksgiving Reflections

The holiday was wonderful. Really, it couldn't have gone better. To have so many friends over to celebrate together and with me was really touching. It was wonderful to see how many people showed up, and even better to see how many stayed and enjoyed themselves. For the most part, everyone seemed to get along, and for a group like the one I invited, that was an accomplishment. Tara, Serge, Sam, Sookeh, Alyx, Dave, Sammie, Scarlett, Lacey, Jack, Wes, Jo, Lily, Roman, Kayley, Abel, Jason, Bianca, Angelo, Gianna, Tray, Abi, Jenny, Nolan, Lafayette, and Waylon all came for the first Thanksgiving Eric and I celebrated together. It was so hectic at first, I think I spent the entire first hour just opening doors, but after that, when everyone settled in and got their food, everyone just got to sit and enjoy each other's company... and hopefully the food!

People brought such nice things, too. Some brought delicious food, some brought beautiful flowers, and someone, three guesses who, even brought a picture of Bruce Campbell. It was so nice to see everyone wanting to be there and acting like the family we've really become. I even got to spend some time with some of the kids, before they got too tired, and it was nice seeing some of the people I don't get to spend enough time with. Hundr ran around everyone's feet all night, and everyone seemed completely charmed by him, if the number of table scraps he got was any indication. Jenny spent part of the night pretending to be a potted plant, no idea what happened there, and Waylon ate more of the blood food than the people food, and Jack got taken out by some tranquilizer darts towards the end, but otherwise things ran about as smoothly as I expected!

I'm so embarrassed that I fell asleep towards the end of the night, but I guess working to cook that meal all week and be a good hostess wore me out, because I fell asleep tucked up right against Eric's shoulder. He took care of everything, though, including me, and managed to see all the guests off safely.

Clean up the next day wasn't so bad, except for a strange shortage of barbecue sauce I noticed, and some things I thought might've been donkey tracks. I caught up on some needed sleep once the cleanup was done, and spent the day in bed with Eric and Hundr. It's a great way to spend the day.

When I woke up again, Eric wasn't in the room, but I could tell he was in the house. He came in as soon as I called out to him, and he was holding a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, a bunch of chocolates, and a gold bracelet.

It was all beautiful, but totally unnecessary. Eric thought he had to apologize for something the other night, but he really could've just said that he hadn't meant to upset me, that he was sorry, and that would've been that. He wouldn't take no for an answer, though, so we spent the rest of the night taking half the flowers to Gran's grave, to let her know we were thinking about her on the holiday. It was actually Eric's idea, and I was so touched he thought of it. He also agreed to decorate the tree with me on Wednesday, so I'm real excited for that. I didn't think Eric would be one for the holidays, but it seems like he's all for them if it makes me happy. I really love having him stay here with me. I'm so lucky to have him.

Thanksgiving Dinner Menu

After cooking all week, these were the results. All foods are garlic free, and all vampire "foods" are completely edible for the living-impaired. Enjoy, everyone!

Thanksgiving Dinner Outfit

After some massive deliberation on my outfit, I decided to go simple. I thought I was pretty safe, except apparently wearing fuzzy dresses makes Eric want to rub up against me. Who knew?

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I know Thanksgiving has become sort of a commercial holiday, what with the parades and turkeys in pilgrim hats and whatnot, but it's always held a pretty special meaning to me.

I've lost a lot in my life. I lost my parents when I was far too young, I continually lost friends throughout my childhood because I was strange or different, I lost a cousin to drugs and prostitution, and my aunt soon after that, and I lost my Gran not too long ago. None of that was easy or fair, but despite all of it, I feel like I've been very blessed. Despite all of it, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Maybe Thanksgiving has become a real commercial holiday, but taking a day to be with friends and family and be thankful for how blessed we all are seems like a pretty good idea to me. Setting aside time to think about how lucky we are, despite the bad things that happened to us, seems like a pretty good reason to celebrate.

So, I'm thankful for my brother Jason, who has always stood by me and protected me and loved me, even when it cost him a lot. I'm thankful Bianca hasn't drained him or figured out what he is, but that the two of them are having fun together, even though it's a real weird pairing.

I'm thankful for my best friend, Tara, who hasn't had the easiest life either, but who always has a smile on her face for me, and plenty of love in her heart. I'm thankful for the little life growing inside her, because I know a baby will only give Tara the opportunity for more love in her heart. I'm thankful she has Serge looking out for her, because goodness knows that girl's too stubborn and selfless to look out for herself the way she deserves.

I'm thankful that Roman is getting another chance at being a father, unconventional as it is. I'm thankful Kayley has a good head on her shoulders, so Abel has the chance to grow up and have a life he otherwise wouldn't have.

I'm thankful that Hadley is still around, if not alive, and that maybe now she can have a second chance at the things she couldn't have when she was alive. I hope she keeps herself safe and out of trouble.

I'm thankful Ryan is being well taken care of, and that he's off drugs and getting clean, even if his new "mom" scares the crud out of me.

I'm thankful Eric has a child like Pam who can take care of his business in his absence, and cares about him enough to let him have this time to recover. I'm thankful she's so caring, despite her somewhat frightening exterior.

I'm thankful to have found even more family in Claude. He's not what I expected, but I never expected to be blessed with even more family than I already have. I'm really lucky he's looking out for me, and I know despite being reluctant to take on more responsibilities, that he'd never let anything happen to me. I'm thankful for Claudia and Claudine too, even though they don't know I know we're related.

I'm thankful to have Jessica as a friend. She's pretty erratic, but people underestimate what a good heart she has. It might not be beating anymore, but I challenge anyone to find a more sensitive, caring vampire. She's a great friend, and I hope she gets the instruction and respect she deserves.

I'm thankful to have a wonderful boss like Sam. I haven't been able to come into work in a while, and he drives me right back out the door when I do, but I know friends like him are hard to find. I hope he recovers from losing Tara, and realizes that his friends still love him, so he better clean his act up.

I'm thankful to have a friend like Lafayette, who accepts me no matter how weird things around me get. He never judges, and he's always supportive, though he's not afraid to tell me when I'm being dumb. I wish more people could realize what a wonderful guy he is.

I'm thankful for friends like Alcide and Halleigh, even though Eric really dislikes one of 'em, and maybe likes the other too much. It's nice to see when two people find each other, fall in love, and make each other happy. They deserve all that happiness and more.

Weirdly enough, I'm thankful for Angelo. He's a good guy, under the mob boss and vampire exterior, and he's real loyal to Eric, which I always respect. He cares about me enough to feed me potato chips under a bathroom door for hours on end, and if that's not friendship... then he probably should've realized I climbed out the window. I'm thankful he has his daughter, Gianna, who's a real pain to listen to, but loves her father unconditionally. I like to think that me and my dad would've had that kind of bond too.

I'm thankful for Niklas and Talia, who have pretty much the most beautiful relationship I've ever seen. Eric might doubt that vampires can love and stay in love, but after six or seven centuries, these two are still head over heels for each other, and I'm grateful someone's actively proving that vampires can love, and love better than most humans know how to.

I'm thankful for Misha, who's one of the sweeter vampires I know, and I'm thankful Dakota has her, so maybe Misha will rub off on her. Everyone needs a best friend, though, and it's nice to see two vampires who have and can depend on each other the way these two do.

I'm thankful that Liam and Jorge are helping us with this whole witch mess. It's nice to see how much Liam loves Bianca, and how much he's willing to sacrifice for her. It seems a little familiar, and it's always good to see that Eric and I aren't the only ones trying to figure out a relationship.

I'm thankful that King Stan and Queen Gabrielle seem to be running Louisiana well, and protected Eric when Bill tried to get him in trouble. I'm also glad that they told me about Hadley still being alive, and that they're not insisting on punishing her or anything. They seem to be real good people, for vampire politicians who don't care much for humans. I hope they stay that way.

I'm thankful that Andy got promoted to Sheriff, and that he has Luc to help him out now. I know Luc might not be happy about being in Bon Temps, but I feel a lot safer with the two of them protecting us now. In this town, feeling safe is definitely something to be thankful for.

I'm thankful that Brody and Hallow didn't drain Eric or succeed in killing him. I hope those two go away and never come back.

I'm thankful for friends like Dave and Alyx. I'm thankful they're blessed with successful businesses and beautiful children, and I'm thankful that they continually make Bon Temps a better place to live, just by being here.

I'm thankful for a friend like Lacey. She's always been loyal to Eric, and she's always been kind to me. She's as mixed up in this crazy world as I am, and it's nice to know I have someone to talk to if I need to, and that she'll never judge me or break that trust I have in her. I'm thankful she's been blessed with a beautiful baby boy, and I hope that new man of hers takes good care of her.

I'm thankful that Eric has a child like Nolan, even if he does hide in his closet when we're trying to... well, I don't need to go into it. I hope he stays out of closets when Eric and I are having sexy times, but I hope he sticks around a lot more when we're fully clothed. I'm thankful for Jenny, who not only puts up with him, but I'm pretty sure she cares about him too. She's a little startling at times, but she's got great taste in movies, even if I'm pretty sure she watches them while high. She's a great person.

I'm thankful for a friend like JoAnna. She's still a newborn by vampire standards, but for me, she's always been a voice of guidance and help. She's always there to help take care of those around her, and she's proving to be a wonderful wife and mother. I'm real lucky to have her as a friend.

I'm thankful for Oscar and Layla, who help Eric and his children out when they really need it, and have been surprisingly good to me too. They're good people, and I'm glad that they're around.

I'm thankful for friends like Abi and Tray, who go out of their way to help me and Eric, whether we're making a dinner or fighting off the Fellowship. They're good people, and I'm so thankful they've found each other.

I'm thankful for Melissa and Amanda, who are not only great bartenders, but good friends. I hope I'll still get to see them lots now that Fangtasia's out of commission.

I'm very thankful for Sookeh, who is a wonderful friend, even though she completely terrifies me. I don't want to know what's going on in that evil head of hers, and I don't want to eat her snakebutt casserole, but I can say it's never boring when she's around, and she's got a good heart under all that evil... Just don't tell her I said it.

I'm thankful for Mena, and I hope people are able to realize what a fantastic journalist she is, and get past her subject matter to really respect what she writes. She's a great friend, with great taste in coffee.

I'm thankful for Brandee, who is not only a fantastic librarian, but a fantastic friend. She has a kind word for everyone, and in this world, that can be a rare thing. She's such a kind person, and I feel very lucky to have met her.

I'm thankful for Waylon, who's apparently bonded to Eric too, but apparently won't eat his waffles? He never hesitates to eat my cooking, that's for sure, but he never hesitates to offer his help either. He's a real softie, and I love having him around.

Most of all this year, I'm thankful for Eric. I never thought I'd find love like this, or really, love at all. I've been betrayed plenty of times in my past, but with Eric, I know my heart is safe. I trust him, I love him, and I know how blessed I am to have him. I can't wait to bond with him a third time, and I couldn't be more blessed to have him in my life and in my heart.

I'm thankful for all of these people and so many more, for making this a wonderful year, and for including me in their lives.