Stranger Danger

I had my first official job as a Supernatural Consultant last night. I wish I could be happy about it, but the circumstances were just too awful. I'm still counting it as my first job, since I got to be helpful, even though I wouldn't accept payment.

Someone's threatening @WereLily. Pictures of her playing on the playground at school were delivered to @BarWithABite, covered in blood. @SheriffNorthman's blood, to be exact. How sick is that? Apparently they were delivered sometime during the trip to NOLA, but Eric didn't mention it. I'm annoyed that he didn't, but I kind of get why he'd want to keep something like this contained. @VampyJo must have been flipping out the entire time. I know I would have been. I guess that's why @WerepireLucian left a little early. I'm glad he went home to protect her.

@BiancaNorthman was able to catch the man who delivered the photographs to Fangtasia. She kept him in the basement and obviously beat him up. It's awful that I can tell it was her and not Chow or Pam, just by what was done. I don't like that there's so much violence or that I'm getting so familiar with each vamipre's signature, but I guess I can't really blame her for beating the guy up when she saw the pictures. If they were sent to me, I'd probably want to hurt someone too.

The basement/dungeon of Fangtasia isn't really a fate I'd wish on anyone, though, especially since the guy was just the messenger. Apparently our vampires haven't heard the saying about messengers, though, because Eric definitely had him killed after I read his mind. The man was a V-addict with dangerous connections, so I guess it's for the best, but that part of me that argued with Eric that all life is special still rails against the thought. 

I was able to read some thoughts from the man's mind, though it didn't go completely smoothly because he was so damaged from all the drugs. Eric took Bianca to look into the lead I dug up, but he came home just before dawn and in no mood to talk, so I didn't get to ask him about it. Judging by the mood, I think it's safe to guess they didn't catch the "red man" they were looking for. I hope they do soon, before he can hurt Lily or anyone else.

I wonder what it says about me that I didn't even try to save the addict's life last night. I hid behind the idea that Eric would honor our deal and not kill the man, and I'm sure he didn't, but I'm equally sure that the man is dead and will never be found. I didn't speak a word in protest, and I won't ask about it or try to lecture him or anything. Being bonded to Eric as long as I have, I understand that he truly believes this was part of eliminating a threat to his family. I can't really argue with that. V-addicts can be extremely dangerous, and this particular one was being used by an even more dangerous man, but I really wish there was an alternative to killing him.

I think believing that all life is special is part of being human. It's something I truly believe, so why didn't I protest when I knew Eric would have his prisoner killed? Why am I not more upset with the idea that they'll kill this "red man" when they find him? A threat to Lily is a threat to our family, so does that mean I'm okay with killing to protect it? Does that make me any less human if I am? And if I don't have my humanity, then what am I?

The Bar with Less Bite

I never thought I'd say it, but Fangtasia is growing on me.

No, really.

Fangbangers and assorted other slutty girls aside, the place really isn't so bad after a while. I mean, in a lot of ways, it's just like other clubs, isn't it?

I can't really say I approve of the vampires being all on display, but the vampires don't really seem to mind, and the humans sure as heck don't. They flock to it, and the vampires generally bask under the attention, even if they don't always show it. Of course, it's still wrong, but they can do what they want as long as it's not hurting anyone. And I have to give Eric credit; in Fangtasia, no one gets hurt.

Plus, I really am making friends there. I'm close with most of the staff, Pam too, even if it did take a while for her to grow on me. She's great. Such a sense of humor. I got her an Alice in Wonderland DVD last week. You know, the Disney version? She didn't quite get it, but I think she appreciated the thought?

Chow's awesome too, even though he reminds me a little too much of my high school gym coach. Weird. They pick on him a lot. I try not to let it worry me.

Jenny and Brier work the bar, and they're always super sweet to me, and Jenny always makes sure to scare off anyone who doesn't know I'm very much taken. I know they'd both look after me if I'd ever need it.

Bianca comes in every once in a while. I think she enjoys being fawned over more than she actually feels any obligation to work. Plus, she gets to yell at people. I think she likes that.

I think Ginger still works at Fangtasia. I don't know if she actually gets paid. I don't know what she actually does. I don't know if she ever actually leaves the club. The other night, I caught her singing Christmas carols. I can't imagine what's wrong with that girl.

I love seeing Roman there, too. He stresses Eric out sometimes and breaks his desk occasionally, but he's still like family.

Plus, I love spending the extra time with Eric. That makes up for all the fangbangers, all the slutty girls, and all the nasty women thinking all those really awful thoughts. When he takes my hand, even if we're in the middle of Fangtasia, everything else just fades away.

Like I said, the club really is growing on me.

Dracula Night

I think Eric is the only one who gets quite so excited over Dracula Night. Maybe Dracula himself does, though I'd never guess it from the twice I've seen him, and I guess Bianca gets pretty excited, but those two are pretty crazy as it is. Last year, Bianca brought Dracula a human heart as a present... One that she'd been carrying around in her purse since December! This year, she brought Dracula his ex-wife, Mina, in a jar. I always forget how goopy vampires get when they're killed.

Still, even with all the weirdness, and there was plenty of weirdness, it was hard not to be excited about the whole thing. Eric's own enthusiasm was catching, and not just because of our bond. It makes me happy to see him so happy about something, even if that something is Dracula Night.

Don't get me wrong, the whole thing was lots of fun. I loved getting to see all our friends. It felt like everyone we knew was there for the reopening of Fangtasia, and I know it was appreciated. The club really looked great, and the Blood Bar I came up with really seemed like a big hit for the fangy guests. It was wonderful to see everyone enjoying themselves. I know how hard Eric and everyone else worked to have the club ready for tonight. It definitely paid off.

There were some awkward moments during the whole thing. Eric introduced me to Russell, the King of Mississippi who's trying to stir up trouble in the area, and his companion Talbot. They were... not immediately intimidating. Just real strange. Real, real strange, actually. I don't know what's with vampires thinking "you smell delicious" is an appropriate thing to say upon meeting someone. I guess it's better than smelling bad, but really, it's just impossible to have a normal conversation after that. I don't like those two anyway.

There were some issues between Eric and Roman and Bubba, which I didn't quite like. Eric and Roman really seemed like they were bullying Bubba, but Eric's emotions were all wrong for the situation. I still don't know what happened, but I couldn't stay mad at him over it when I think there was way more too the whole thing than meets the eye.

That's about when Dracula showed up and terrified everyone. He broke up the fight by threatening everyone with a stake, and when he was done, Bianca gave him her gift. Yuck. Roman got really upset over the jar of vampire goop, and while Eric was introducing me to Dracula, decided to stick his hands into it for a while. I have no idea why, but it made me a little sick. We all pretended not to notice.

Meeting Dracula was just unpleasant. He started off by asking if Eric kept his wife in a jar too, when he said he'd be introducing me, which wasn't really welcome. Eric said "not yet," and I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean. Dracula didn't seem to interested in me, except to ask why I was alive. I didn't like that question or any of the alternatives. I don't want to think about other vampires waiting until I'm "vintage" or something like that.

And what did Dracula mean Eric was waiting for? To kill me? To turn me? I don't like the first option, and know that's not on Eric's mind, and the second... we just don't talk about. We very carefully don't talk about it. I love Eric with all my heart, and I know my future is with him, but what that future holds for both of us... we don't talk about. At least not when it comes to long term plans. It'd just get too complicated.

Dracula left after that, off to go do whatever with Bianca, and Eric took me into his office to comfort me. The whole encounter flipped me out more than a little, and my vampire didn't hesitate to take my mind off of it in the way he does best. When I was sufficiently distracted, the party was over, which Eric didn't seem too disappointed about as he drove us home. His car was surrounded in toilet paper, no idea what that was about, but thankfully there wasn't any on the car. I think that would've dampened his mood.

All in all, it wasn't a bad Dracula Night. No one died, at least not at the party this year, so that was an improvement. Still, I'm glad the vampire holiday only comes once a year.

Oh My Goodness!

When I woke up tonight (because it's basically always night here), I woke up as Eric's wife. His WIFE!

It's so crazy to try to wrap my head around that, even after the beautiful, beautiful ceremony last night. I'm eternally bonded to Eric Northman, from now on, for the rest of my life.

The ceremony really was better than I ever could've expected. Liam did a fantastic job, and was completely serious, despite his usual demeanor. He only thought about sex a few times, and even then, it was easy enough to block him out, since I held Eric's hand through the whole thing. He was thinking about Bianca, who was obviously thinking about him too. She looked at him all mushily throughout the whole ceremony. I don't think I've ever seen her look that way at anyone before. She told him she loves him, when it was all over. I'm really happy for the two of them.

Even Brier and Jenny were kind of romantic during it. There were a few fears expressed that Kristen would go after Jenny, since she just learned to fence, but both girls teared up almost as much as I did during the ceremony. There was lots of crying, since Lacey shed a few tears too as she held onto Jack and Wes, but luckily Claude brought tissues for all, and shared them as he clung to Waylon and insisted Niall was going to kill him over the ceremony. I hope he was just being dramatic. Pam got pretty teary-eyed too, which meant a lot to me. Lily kept telling us we looked pretty, which was beyond sweet, and it was wonderful to have Lucian and JoAnna there, especially when they brought up their own bonding.

It was so meaningful having our friends and family there to support us, but through most of the ceremony, all I saw as Eric. Liam spoke for a bit, and then Eric and I got to say our vows, which I'll freely admit I cried through. Then Liam explained the meaning of the bond to everyone, and Eric and I both said, "I do." Then I repeated after Liam, and Eric bit me. He warned me that it would hurt a little, and sure it stung a bit, but I barely noticed the pain. Eric's bitten me a bunch before, usually during some very, very private moments, but this time... I didn't even think to be embarrassed others were witnessing it. It wasn't about sex, or anything like that. I was giving him my blood as a symbol of my love and commitment, and it was easy to feel through the bond what it both meant to us. When Eric closed the wounds, Liam had Eric repeat the words I had just finished, and made a small cut in his neck for me to drink from, like an equal.

He bent down for me, cause he's too tall for me to reach otherwise, and I drank from him as much as I dared. What a rush! It's always a little disorienting, and I still haven't gotten used to it, but I don't think I really want to, because then it wouldn't be so special. And it was special. Eric really, really liked it, I mean really liked it, and I got the feeling it was a little hard for him to control himself. He did, though, and so did I, though that was tough too, and Liam pronounced our bond sacred and sealed as we kissed.

It was magical, really. All of our friends and family were so happy for us. I can only smile remembering it. It seemed everyone had sex on the brain as we went back to the hotel, which means cake was put off until later tonight, which is just fine by me. Eric and I went upstairs to celebrate privately, and as he set me down on the bed, he surprised me one more time.

He knelt by the bed, and he pulled out a ring.

I was speechless.

It's beautiful, obviously, and more expensive than anything I'd ever be comfortable wearing, but it doesn't look new, either. I get the feeling that Eric's had it for a while, which just confuses me. Despite how nervous the probable price of the ring makes me, I couldn't say no. How do you say no to a ring from the man you just bonded yourself to for eternity, and promised to spend the rest of your life with? From the vampire who thinks of you as his wife?

I couldn't, of course. But the rings, the "I do"s, the vows... It's all stuff you'd expect in a wedding. And it wasn't a wedding. We're not actually married. It's don't like to think that way, not when I'm wearing his ring on my finger and Eric's thinking of me as his wife, but... I was brought up very traditionally. This wasn't a wedding. And... I want to marry him. I want to be able to think of him as my husband as much as he thinks of me as his wife. I know Eric has a point when he says that bondings are more meaningful, that they can't be dissolved with a piece of paper and a divorce, but... it's hard to change your way of thinking when that's the way you've been brought up.

Don't get me wrong. I love Eric. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm going to do everything I would if he were my husband, and I'm going to try my hardest to think of us as married. I just... wish we could've had that traditional, white wedding too, with all our friends, with what's left of my family... Maybe it's human, and maybe it's silly. I'm not gonna say anything to him. I really am so excited about our bonding ceremony and the trip we're on, and I'm so excited to be Eric's wife.

Tonight is going to be about celebration. We'll have cake, and I think Eric's setting up some sort of surprise for our trip. He seems more excited than usual about it, so I can only imagine what it'll be. There's so much to celebrate, for us and for all of the friends that're with us. I don't think I could be more excited to share it all with them. Everything seems to be changing, and for once, it seems to be for the better!

Pre-Bonding Jitters

I think it's just now hitting me.

After tonight, I'll be Eric's wife.

Not legally, of course, and not in any way that humans really recognize, but to him. That's huge, right? I think I should be nervous or something, but I just can't sit still. I don't remember when time has passed so slowly before. There are hours and hours until the ceremony, and Claude says we need every one of them to get me ready for it, which is ridiculous because Eric will love me no matter what I look like, but you try arguing with the fairy.

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness.

I think people must be getting pretty annoyed with me. Claude keeps threatening to make me swim laps if I don't sit still, to get out some of my energy, and I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I should be doing something, instead of letting all these people do things for me, which still makes me awkward. This should be a bonding time with the women that are on the trip with us, but all I can think of is bonding with Eric later. I love Jenny, Pam, Lacey, Jo, and Kris, and even Bianca is growing on me, but I swear I can't focus on a word any of them are saying. All I can think is that in eight hours or so, I'll be standing in front of Eric promising to spend my life with him, and to love him forever.

I can't wait.

I don't know what forever means for us when he really does have eternity, but I do know that no one else will ever have my heart. It sounds almost silly to say when we haven't even been dating a year, though I guess people marry after less than seven months all the time. After all we've been through together, though, it feels like the time doesn't matter, that I love him with everything I am, and that it could never change.

It's hard for me to think of this as marriage without all the traditional stuff, though. I'm not walking down an aisle, I'm not wearing a white dress, my family (with the exception of Claude) isn't here, most of the people I grew up with won't be here, there won't be any rings... none of that stuff. I can feel how much this means to Eric, though, and it does mean the world to me too. I do kind of wish we were having all that traditional stuff and that my childhood friends and my family could be here too, but that doesn't make this any less meaningful.

I love Eric, and I want to spend my life with him. That matters more than anything else, and after tonight, I'll be his wife.

If only tonight would get here sooner!

A Christmas Celebration!

To: Liam & Bianca, Lacey & Jack, Brier & Jenny, Pam & Waylon

We hope you'll join us for this small holiday get together!

Fire at Fangtasia

@SheriffNorthman is trapped in Fangtasia.

I don't even know what to do with that. I've been trying desperately to get in there, and have since I got here myself, but no one will even let me near the building. It was in flames when I got here, with him still inside, and it continued to burn for hours while I stood and watched because no one was willing to let me run into a burning building. Those hypocrites!

They were all thinking I'm some desperate fangbanger, which only made me more angry. There's nothing I can do but argue with firefighters for hours on end while seeing the images of the damage to the club inside. The interior is so badly burned out, even now, and they're not letting me in because they're worried it could be structurally unsound. What if it does collapse! He's still in there, and the sun...

When he was first in pain, I searched the house for him. I called everyone I could think of. @pamiravenscroft, @RomanLucious, @BiancaNorthman, even @BarwithaBite. Pam and Roman didn't pick up, and Bianca was in Texas. When I called Fantasia, some guy I didn't recognize picked up and said Eric was tied up. I didn't think anything of it, but he was in so much pain... he could only have meant literally.

I knew I had to go with him, so I went to find @AngeloSenior to bring him with me. More hands, plus the guy carries a weapon, you know? If these guys had Eric, we had to rescue him. Angelo was no help. He locked me in the bathroom, and I had to climb out the window, which cost me even more time.

Then when I got to Fangtasia, the fire trucks and policemen and everything were already there. There was a barrier, people weren't crossing it, and the place was just consumed in flames. I feel so helpless watching them, but no matter what, I'm going in there at dark.

Eric's always so worried about how fragile I am, and how easily I can be killed, but now he's the one in danger, not me, and there was nothing I could do to expect it. Someone was definitely hurting him on purpose, and we had no warning they were coming. What if something happens to him? What if he doesn't make it? I'd do anything, anything to help him, but what if... What if it's too late? He worries about me so much, and for what? So he could be the one trapped alive in the burning building? Suddenly I really don't feel like the fragile one.

A Third [Second] Date

Well, I'm back in New York. Ain't that the weirdest thing. I haven't been to work in forever. I don't know what I'm gonna do about that, but I figure, one problem at a time, and I'm definitely dealin' with some other stuff right now.

Eric took me on a third date. Well, he insists it was the third, but it's really the second. He counts makin' out in my hotel room last night as our second. That's... complicated. I'm so attracted to him. Who wouldn't be? It's hard to keep my hands off him, but at the same time, he's so intimidating. Almost scary. He's... well, he's no Bill, and Bill was my first. I feel so unsure around him, but at the same time, who can help but want him?

I had to stop him from doing anything I wasn't ready to, but he was really good about that. He even stayed until I fell asleep. He's a good cuddler, I'll give him that.

For our date, he took me to see Wicked. That was amazin'! We both loved the show, I think. Eric was talkin' about sendin' one of the munchkins home to Dave, though I can't for the life of me imagine why.

Still, it was all so excitin'! I'd never been to any kind of show before, and Broadway... Wow. Eric called my excitement adorable, but I couldn't help it! It was a great birthday present.

Really, the whole present was the best I've ever gotten. It made up for havin' a real quiet birthday, not that I mind quiet when the alternative lately seems to be rescuin' people or blowin' stuff up. Though, speakin' of blowin' up, I have to wonder if Bianca knows about all these dates. I still think she'll try to kill me one day. I'm kind of terrified.

I haven't heard from Bill since our date. I guess he took my, "Don't call me until you're done with this database business," request seriously. It's for the best, I guess, when I seem to be gettin' involved with Eric romantically, whether I want to or not.

The thing is, I think I want to. He's so different from what I expected. He's really thoughtful to me. Caring, almost, and almost selfless. I never thought I'd use those words to describe him. He says I'm important to him. I guess what I'm saying is, he's pretty important to me too.

First Date

So… I caved. I let Eric take me out on a date. It was really nice, for the most part. He thought it out real well, and even attempted bein’ a gentleman like I asked him to.

Dinner and a movie’s hard to ruin, and Eric didn’t, not really. It was Bianca who took a stab at ruining it, turnin’ it into a double date without anyone knowin’ about it. The guy she brought was pretty nice, but the thoughts runnin’ through his head… Those were some dirty, dirty thoughts.

Eric was real apologetic about the whole mess. Dinner was good, even if awkward, and then Eric took me out to a movie. He seemed more interested in tryin’ to make out with me than watchin’ the movie, but it was at one of those theaters that shows old classics, and I love those, and besides, there weren’t many people there, so I might’ve given in just a little. Don’t blame me, I’ve done plenty of resistin’ in the past, but this was a date, and it was just kissing!

Anyway, I think we both enjoyed ourselves. I told him he could take me out on another date again soon, preferably without Bianca. I think he plans on it, cause I heard the two of them yellin’ well into the mornin’. Guess he was pretty upset with her too.

Eric Northman on a date. Who would’ve figured?

New Jersey

A couple hours after my disaster of a date with Bill, Eric showed up at my door. I was glad to see him, to be completely honest, since I hadn’t seen him since he was all vampire-napped. I’ve been a little worried, and not without reason. We’re twice bonded, and I guess it was easy to put that out of my head for a while, but feelin’ him in such pain when he was taken… I could feel that. I didn’t like it, not one bit, so I’m bettin’ it was a whole lot worse for him. It was real nice to see that super vampire healin’ put to good use. You never would’ve known he’d been hurt just by looking at him, which was quite the relief. He didn’t seem to want to talk about the ordeal, and I couldn’t blame him.

But he wasn’t visitin’ to talk about that. He came to ask if I’d go to New Jersey with him and a bunch of his crew. Well, I guess he sorta was visitin’ to talk about that. The trip to Jersey was to track some of the people in charge of takin’ Eric, and as he told me, takin’ Bianca, which really seems to have shook him. He didn’t really say what happened to her. I saw her on the plane and in the car and everything, and she looked fine, if… uh… on edge… but physically fine. He said she’s still healin’, though, so maybe that explains her bein’ even more scary than she usually is. And then poutin’. I don’t think I’ll ever really understand vampires…

Anyway, this Jersey trip apparently somehow involves Jo’s family, since they’ve been doin’ not-so-legal things, I guess. It must be really hard for her to have to hunt down her own family with us, but I’ll do my best to make sure that anyone not involved in the drainin’ stuff is kept out of it. That’s part of why I’m involved. I’ve got to read people and make sure no one dies who doesn’t have to. It’s a kinda scary job, actually. People don’t always think the right things at the right time, and it’s not like anyone’s actually goin’ to be standin’ around thinkin’, “Oh, I’ve never harmed a vampire, it was all x, y, and z doin’ that stuff.” No one ever thinks anythin’ really convenient. If people could go around thinkin’, “I’m the killer!”, my job would be a lot easier. What if I miss something? Or I’m wrong about someone? This is Jo’s family we’re talkin’ about here; I can’t afford to be makin’ mistakes.

I’m glad to be helpin’ anyway, even if the job does have my nerves on edge. Like I told Bill, even though there’s risk involved, I’m glad to be able to help if it’ll keep even one extra person alive. Eric gettin’ drained like he did was awful and inhumane, vampire or not, and I saw the way he was about whatever happened to Bianca. People’s friends and loved ones gettin’ kidnapped or killed just to make a profit isn’t somethin’ I can just stand by and watch when there’s a way I can help. I’m not kiddin’ myself thinkin’ I’ll be able to do more than any of the vampires on this trip, and there certainly are a lot, but hopefully I’ll be able to contribute in some way and not get too badly hurt in the process. Seems I’m always hopin’ for that last one…