The Bar with Less Bite

I never thought I'd say it, but Fangtasia is growing on me.

No, really.

Fangbangers and assorted other slutty girls aside, the place really isn't so bad after a while. I mean, in a lot of ways, it's just like other clubs, isn't it?

I can't really say I approve of the vampires being all on display, but the vampires don't really seem to mind, and the humans sure as heck don't. They flock to it, and the vampires generally bask under the attention, even if they don't always show it. Of course, it's still wrong, but they can do what they want as long as it's not hurting anyone. And I have to give Eric credit; in Fangtasia, no one gets hurt.

Plus, I really am making friends there. I'm close with most of the staff, Pam too, even if it did take a while for her to grow on me. She's great. Such a sense of humor. I got her an Alice in Wonderland DVD last week. You know, the Disney version? She didn't quite get it, but I think she appreciated the thought?

Chow's awesome too, even though he reminds me a little too much of my high school gym coach. Weird. They pick on him a lot. I try not to let it worry me.

Jenny and Brier work the bar, and they're always super sweet to me, and Jenny always makes sure to scare off anyone who doesn't know I'm very much taken. I know they'd both look after me if I'd ever need it.

Bianca comes in every once in a while. I think she enjoys being fawned over more than she actually feels any obligation to work. Plus, she gets to yell at people. I think she likes that.

I think Ginger still works at Fangtasia. I don't know if she actually gets paid. I don't know what she actually does. I don't know if she ever actually leaves the club. The other night, I caught her singing Christmas carols. I can't imagine what's wrong with that girl.

I love seeing Roman there, too. He stresses Eric out sometimes and breaks his desk occasionally, but he's still like family.

Plus, I love spending the extra time with Eric. That makes up for all the fangbangers, all the slutty girls, and all the nasty women thinking all those really awful thoughts. When he takes my hand, even if we're in the middle of Fangtasia, everything else just fades away.

Like I said, the club really is growing on me.

The Ice Hotel

The flight from Stockholm to the Kiruna Airport to get to Jukkasjärvi, where the Ice Hotel is, only took a little over an hour and a half, but boy was it a long flight. The plane between the two was tiny! We went so far North, you could practically feel the temperature drop, even on the plane. We're North of the Arctic Circle out here, which means no sunlight at all, but the Northern Lights are going on!

It's at least ten degrees colder here than in Stockholm, and it turns out, ten degrees makes a big difference! It's nine degrees out right now, which is gonna feel real warm once we're in the rooms, which they say are kept at -5! If I don't freeze to death, it's gonna be some sorta miracle, but Eric says he knows how to keep me warm... Picking out everyone's rooms was real fun, though there weren't enough for everyone, so Roman and Kris have to bunk together. Somehow, I don't think they mind! Here are some pictures, and hopefully I'll get to post more later!

The front desk. Pretty chilly looking right from the start!

The lighting's real strange cause it's all artificial!

Ain't the lobby real pretty?

Mine and Eric's Room... Isn't it all Viking-y?

Roman & Kris's Room... Nolan's gonna get jealous of those snowboobs!

Claude's Room... Still makes me laugh...

Jo's, Lucian's, and Lily's room... Cause Jo's the city girl!

Lacey, Jack, and Wes's Room... It looks the warmest!

I thought Pam's room is real pretty.

Bianca and Liam's room seemed like the one with the sturdiest bed. I'm hoping they don't break it.

Nolan and Jenny's room has a tree for Jenny, since she loves them, but I'm hoping he keeps her from licking it.

I don't think Waylon will ever feel too alone in his room.

Oh My Goodness!

When I woke up tonight (because it's basically always night here), I woke up as Eric's wife. His WIFE!

It's so crazy to try to wrap my head around that, even after the beautiful, beautiful ceremony last night. I'm eternally bonded to Eric Northman, from now on, for the rest of my life.

The ceremony really was better than I ever could've expected. Liam did a fantastic job, and was completely serious, despite his usual demeanor. He only thought about sex a few times, and even then, it was easy enough to block him out, since I held Eric's hand through the whole thing. He was thinking about Bianca, who was obviously thinking about him too. She looked at him all mushily throughout the whole ceremony. I don't think I've ever seen her look that way at anyone before. She told him she loves him, when it was all over. I'm really happy for the two of them.

Even Brier and Jenny were kind of romantic during it. There were a few fears expressed that Kristen would go after Jenny, since she just learned to fence, but both girls teared up almost as much as I did during the ceremony. There was lots of crying, since Lacey shed a few tears too as she held onto Jack and Wes, but luckily Claude brought tissues for all, and shared them as he clung to Waylon and insisted Niall was going to kill him over the ceremony. I hope he was just being dramatic. Pam got pretty teary-eyed too, which meant a lot to me. Lily kept telling us we looked pretty, which was beyond sweet, and it was wonderful to have Lucian and JoAnna there, especially when they brought up their own bonding.

It was so meaningful having our friends and family there to support us, but through most of the ceremony, all I saw as Eric. Liam spoke for a bit, and then Eric and I got to say our vows, which I'll freely admit I cried through. Then Liam explained the meaning of the bond to everyone, and Eric and I both said, "I do." Then I repeated after Liam, and Eric bit me. He warned me that it would hurt a little, and sure it stung a bit, but I barely noticed the pain. Eric's bitten me a bunch before, usually during some very, very private moments, but this time... I didn't even think to be embarrassed others were witnessing it. It wasn't about sex, or anything like that. I was giving him my blood as a symbol of my love and commitment, and it was easy to feel through the bond what it both meant to us. When Eric closed the wounds, Liam had Eric repeat the words I had just finished, and made a small cut in his neck for me to drink from, like an equal.

He bent down for me, cause he's too tall for me to reach otherwise, and I drank from him as much as I dared. What a rush! It's always a little disorienting, and I still haven't gotten used to it, but I don't think I really want to, because then it wouldn't be so special. And it was special. Eric really, really liked it, I mean really liked it, and I got the feeling it was a little hard for him to control himself. He did, though, and so did I, though that was tough too, and Liam pronounced our bond sacred and sealed as we kissed.

It was magical, really. All of our friends and family were so happy for us. I can only smile remembering it. It seemed everyone had sex on the brain as we went back to the hotel, which means cake was put off until later tonight, which is just fine by me. Eric and I went upstairs to celebrate privately, and as he set me down on the bed, he surprised me one more time.

He knelt by the bed, and he pulled out a ring.

I was speechless.

It's beautiful, obviously, and more expensive than anything I'd ever be comfortable wearing, but it doesn't look new, either. I get the feeling that Eric's had it for a while, which just confuses me. Despite how nervous the probable price of the ring makes me, I couldn't say no. How do you say no to a ring from the man you just bonded yourself to for eternity, and promised to spend the rest of your life with? From the vampire who thinks of you as his wife?

I couldn't, of course. But the rings, the "I do"s, the vows... It's all stuff you'd expect in a wedding. And it wasn't a wedding. We're not actually married. It's don't like to think that way, not when I'm wearing his ring on my finger and Eric's thinking of me as his wife, but... I was brought up very traditionally. This wasn't a wedding. And... I want to marry him. I want to be able to think of him as my husband as much as he thinks of me as his wife. I know Eric has a point when he says that bondings are more meaningful, that they can't be dissolved with a piece of paper and a divorce, but... it's hard to change your way of thinking when that's the way you've been brought up.

Don't get me wrong. I love Eric. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm going to do everything I would if he were my husband, and I'm going to try my hardest to think of us as married. I just... wish we could've had that traditional, white wedding too, with all our friends, with what's left of my family... Maybe it's human, and maybe it's silly. I'm not gonna say anything to him. I really am so excited about our bonding ceremony and the trip we're on, and I'm so excited to be Eric's wife.

Tonight is going to be about celebration. We'll have cake, and I think Eric's setting up some sort of surprise for our trip. He seems more excited than usual about it, so I can only imagine what it'll be. There's so much to celebrate, for us and for all of the friends that're with us. I don't think I could be more excited to share it all with them. Everything seems to be changing, and for once, it seems to be for the better!

Pre-Bonding Jitters

I think it's just now hitting me.

After tonight, I'll be Eric's wife.

Not legally, of course, and not in any way that humans really recognize, but to him. That's huge, right? I think I should be nervous or something, but I just can't sit still. I don't remember when time has passed so slowly before. There are hours and hours until the ceremony, and Claude says we need every one of them to get me ready for it, which is ridiculous because Eric will love me no matter what I look like, but you try arguing with the fairy.

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness.

I think people must be getting pretty annoyed with me. Claude keeps threatening to make me swim laps if I don't sit still, to get out some of my energy, and I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I should be doing something, instead of letting all these people do things for me, which still makes me awkward. This should be a bonding time with the women that are on the trip with us, but all I can think of is bonding with Eric later. I love Jenny, Pam, Lacey, Jo, and Kris, and even Bianca is growing on me, but I swear I can't focus on a word any of them are saying. All I can think is that in eight hours or so, I'll be standing in front of Eric promising to spend my life with him, and to love him forever.

I can't wait.

I don't know what forever means for us when he really does have eternity, but I do know that no one else will ever have my heart. It sounds almost silly to say when we haven't even been dating a year, though I guess people marry after less than seven months all the time. After all we've been through together, though, it feels like the time doesn't matter, that I love him with everything I am, and that it could never change.

It's hard for me to think of this as marriage without all the traditional stuff, though. I'm not walking down an aisle, I'm not wearing a white dress, my family (with the exception of Claude) isn't here, most of the people I grew up with won't be here, there won't be any rings... none of that stuff. I can feel how much this means to Eric, though, and it does mean the world to me too. I do kind of wish we were having all that traditional stuff and that my childhood friends and my family could be here too, but that doesn't make this any less meaningful.

I love Eric, and I want to spend my life with him. That matters more than anything else, and after tonight, I'll be his wife.

If only tonight would get here sooner!

Dragged to the Spa

I woke tonight to a text from Claude about how I "need" a trip to the spa before the bonding ceremony tonight. I do want to look my best for it, but the idea of people pampering me, doing things for me, makes me so, so uncomfortable. If Claude's in any way supporting this, though, I know I should indulge him. He's the only family I have here, and I'm sure Jenny, Lacey, Pam, Bianca, Jo, and Kris will enjoy the whole thing a lot, even if I don't like it. Besides, I didn't like the idea of Claude getting impatient and just poofing into my room where Eric's naked.

I'm near crawling out of my skin, I'm so excited for tonight. Claude says that means I need some exfoliating or something, but I'm just excited. I've got my dress and shoes and all that down here at the spa with me so I can get dressed without Eric seeing me. Even though it's not a wedding, Eric sees it as more significant than one, so I want to follow some of the traditions. Him not seeing me in my dress before the ceremony is one, I hope. I'm not sure what he'll be up to today, but I hope he, Brier, Liam, Waylon, Jack, Lucian, and Roman don't get into too much trouble. They're watching Weston and Lily, after all.

The bonding ceremony's gonna be late tonight, probably around when 9pm would be back in Shreveport, but that's 4 in the morning here! We'll have just around 5 hours before dawn, which is nice, and it shouldn't take longer than that. The location we got is perfect, but we had to wait until it'd be closed to the public and could be set up for the bonding, which means it'll be a little late. Not that I mind! It just means lots of coffee today. Claude says the spa is supposed to be relaxing. We'll see about that.

He's gonna start yelling if I don't hurry up and get to whatever room he's dragging to, but I'll write again in a bit!

Arriving in Sweden

Last night, we arrived in Sweden. The plane ride seemed to take forever, which wasn't unexpected, just... long. It wasn't so bad, though. I watched Aladdin with Lily, talked with Waylon, made sure Kristen got the nuts out of her nose, and enjoyed a little time with Lacey, Jack, Wes, and Roman. I got to talk to Tara on the phone, too. It turns out she and Maya are moving back to Bon Temps, which is great, except that it's because Serge broke it off with her. When I find that vampire, I'm sure gonna give him a piece of my mind, abandoning Tara like that.

I finally got up the courage to tell her that Eric and I are having our bonding ceremony. I know he thinks of it as a marriage, and with something so significant, it would've been great to have my oldest friend with me, but with vampires and bonds being the sensitive subject as they are with Tara, it's just better this way. She congratulated me, which means a lot, and Lafayette gave us his blessing a while back. I guess all I've gotta worry about now is telling Jason.

"Hey Jason! Guess what? I got vampire-married in Sweden!"

Yeah, that'll go well.

I guess I'll worry about it when the time comes. Maybe get him drunk first. Either way, I'm real excited. When we landed, it was so freezing! I could hardly believe it! I just barely avoided cussing about the weather, and thankfully Eric got me into the car before I could freeze to death or something. he really wasn't kidding about that! All the humans seemed pretty shocked by the cold, except maybe Liam, but I'm pretty sure Bianca gave him a concussion having all that sex with him in the airplane bathroom. Pam seemed excited, though pretty tired still. I hope they get that stuff worked out soon.

Brier joined us back at the hotel, he'd run off to shift or something, I didn't ask the details, and we met Claude there too. I gave Jenny the room key for her and Brier, since she seems like the more responsible one, even if she eats plants, and Lily took that time to tell Lucian that Nando told her what sex is. I think they'll be having a talk soon.

Everyone went their separate ways, and I did something a little naughty with Eric. We mighta done it in the elevator. I'm still shocked, but... he was so excited... I guess I got caught up in it. Anyway, he said he'd take care of the security footage. I hope he does.

Today when I woke up after a very exciting night, it was already dark again. Sweden only has something like six hours of sunlight right now. Eric's in heaven! He went out to make snow boobs or something with Nolan, so I explored the hotel, got something to eat, and wrote in my journal. I took some pictures of the hotel since it's so beautiful, and I want to put them in here to remember it perfectly. We're staying at the Grand Hotel in Stockholm, and it's just... magnificent. I'll show you!

That's part of our suite. Isn't it fantastic? All the glass is light-proof!

The hotel really is right on the water, just like Eric said. Isn't it stunning at night?

This is our room. I'm completely in love with it, really. Eric liked the throw pillows, but they ended up on the floor.

Another view of the hotel at night. I really do love how it looks all lit up.

Eric says the water doesn't freeze in the winter cause it's moving and there's so much of it, so there are still boats going!

This was the main lobby of the hotel. It was so warm and welcoming!

This is the hotel's bar, I think. They also serve some food there, though. It's real cozy, and where I'm writing this!

This is the hotel's main restaurant. The glass gives such a lovely view of the snow outside!

This is a quieter, more private and romantic restaurant. I love the couch thing. I wanna talk Eric into taking me here.

That's really all I've got for now, because I've gotta find Eric and tear him away from his snow boobs. Honestly, after a thousand or so years, you'd think the fascination would wear off...

Claude said they have the country's best spa here. I told him I hate that sorta thing, but he's insisting on dragging me. Maybe before the bonding ceremony, and just for something small. I guess a steam room doesn't sound so bad in this cold weather.

Anyway, I think I need to leave this nice, warm, cozy room and face the snow to find my vampire! I think I'll take Hundr, see how he likes the snow. Maybe it'll be fun after all!

Shopping and Torture

 Friends make shopping less painful... but not by much.

Alright, it wasn't really so bad. I just feel so guilty. SO much money was spent, it made my head spin!

Eric said I needed new clothes for Sweden, because it's really cold there. I've only really experienced snow the once it snowed here, but I didn't really think that was so bad. Apparently, it wasn't, and everyone's worried I'll freeze to death. I don't think people can really freeze to death, but I can tell Eric worries about it, so I agreed to a shopping trip. Reluctantly. Very reluctantly.

He decided it'd be more fun for me if we invited some of our friends to come too. Lacey, Jo, Jenny, Pam, and even Claude came with us. It turned into such an ordeal. After some truly traumatizing discussion about my behind, or decided lack-thereof, we were off to the stores. No one let me do any discount shopping. It wasn't very nice of them.

It was all such a whirlwind of way-too-high prices. I don't know what all was gotten, but I do know it all cost a fortune. I tried to stick to real basics and warm stuff, practical things that could be used a bunch of times, with a few exceptions. Lingerie, obviously, though I tried not to get anything too expensive, since Eric shreds it all to pieces anyway. The other exceptions were the dress and shoes I got for the bonding ceremony. Eric insisted on something special since it's a real special occasion, and I agree completely, but oh my goodness. That Herve Leger guy makes a real expensive dress, and those shoes with the red bottoms cost a fortune! Eric didn't seem to mind, but Pam got four pairs! I also got real practical snow boots and stuff, so I don't freeze to death, even though I really don't believe in that.

Eric got some other stuff he put away and won't let me see. He thinks I don't know about it, and he feels pretty proud of himself over it, so I don't want to ruin his fun. It is a special occasion, and I hope he knows he can't spend like that all the time, or ever again, but this really does mean a lot, and I guess Sweden probably is pretty cold, and regular jeans and a t-shirt would be pretty uncomfortable.

Oh! I also invited Claude to come with us. He's real worried about Niall finding out about the whole thing, but he promised to keep it a secret. I don't really think Niall should get a say in the whole thing anyway, since I've yet to actually meet the guy, but it does mean a lot to me that Claude's coming. Even if I haven't known him too, too long, and even if he's pretty overly critical sometimes, he's family. I tried talking to him again about dating Appius, which made me realize I really do love Claude like family already. I definitely worry about him like family.

Speaking of worrying, this witch situation doesn't really seem to be getting much better. Eric and I went to Fangtasia earlier this week because apparently Pam's keeping some prisoners there. He wanted me to read Ashley's mind. That girl is gonna get herself killed one of these days, getting into all these messes. They wiped her mind and asked me to read her to make sure she didn't remember anything, which I did, and she didn't. The whole thing made me so uncomfortable for obvious reasons, but what made me even more uncomfortable was the fact that I didn't utter a word of protest the whole time.

It made me wonder if I'm changing, if I'm becoming someone I don't want to be. Maybe I'm cruel for ignoring what they did to her, or ignoring the fact that there's a witch locked up in that basement like I never heard. Maybe I'm just not naive enough to believe a good talking to is gonna impact these bloodthirsty witches and make them change their ways. I want the ones I love and all the innocent people out there to be safe, and if that means someone who kills might die...

But I can't really stand the thought of being okay with that either. There's always a chance at redemption, isn't there? Though the last time I thought a V-addict was gonna redeem themselves, I ended up with a bunch of nasty knife wounds, and the guy ended up dead anyway. I don't know. I'd do anything to protect Eric, to protect my friends, to protect my family. I guess right now, "anything" means loving Eric even if he has a witch tortured in the basement of his club so he can find out who's behind all this and stop them.

I guess I can do that, but the blood's on my hands too, no matter what Eric says.

They're not the nicest thoughts to have when planning my bonding ceremony to Eric, but since when has reality ever been real nice? I'm darn lucky to be alive right now, and even luckier to have someone to love, and someone who loves me. I know that, and I'm so grateful for it. I might not like some of the darker realities of our situation right now, but I know that the man I love is protecting me and protecting the people he cares about. That has to count more than anything else. It has to.

Anyway, there's so much on my mind to distract me from all of that, and I'm grateful for that too. We'll get a vacation from all this nasty witch business when we go away, and everyone needs that. Life in Shreveport is never boring, but I'll be darn glad to get away from it, if only for a week. It's a very special occasion, and it's one I'm looking forward to with everything I am. Even with a bunch of witches bent on hating vampires, I'm fully focused on loving mine... very frequently!

A Christmas Celebration!

To: Liam & Bianca, Lacey & Jack, Brier & Jenny, Pam & Waylon

We hope you'll join us for this small holiday get together!