When I Get Home

After a day at work, it's naturally nice to come home to a comfortable, quiet house. I think that's the same for everyone, isn't it? It's nice to be home.

It's weird to think that home is now Eric's place in Shreveport. Well, I guess I still call it' "Eric's Place" in my head sometimes, but still, it's home. Home is home too, but right now, Angelo and Isabella are living there. It would've been awfully strange to have all four of us plus Brier, Hundr, and Clyde the octopus, all living under one roof. Brier's never around, though, at least where we can find him, so that's not so awkward, and Hundr and Clyde don't listen in on what Eric and I do on the bedroom. Angelo always had an awful habit of that, though… How awkward, with his wife around.

It's so nice to have it really feel like a home, though. It's such a small, silly thing, really. To be able to do our laundry, cook my meals, warm Eric's blood, feed Hundr, make our bed, tidy up after us. It feels like our house, our home.

A year ago, I had just agreed to help Eric try to get rid of the V dealers that seemed to be taking over Shreveport. I was annoyed with Bill's overprotectiveness, but we were still dating. Who knew that a year from then, Eric and I would be married.

Married-ish, anyway.

I was beyond frustrated, back then, that I was so kept out of the loop. Bill never told me a thing, and at first, Eric and I had real communication issues too, keeping things from each other. A year can make a big difference, thankfully. Now, we're really, truly close. I feel like I could tell him anything. He knows all my secrets, and I hope he knows he can tell me all of his. It'll be a year ago this month that Bill and I broke up, and though it was really painful at the time, now, I couldn't be more grateful.

Now, I have a home, a family, and a husband. It really is amazing, the difference a year can make, and I'm so grateful for it.

Guilty Conscience

There are certain things I'm used to feeling guilt over. Eating the entire bag of chips, not going to church often enough, or not calling Jason as much as I should. None of them are anything I'd call serious, and that's a good thing. I try to live a good life and to do the right thing. It doesn't always work out that way, and like Gran used to say, "All God's children are sinners," but I think I mostly succeed. I try, anyway, and that's the important part. Intentions count.

Thing is, I've felt guilty lately. And it's over Bill.

Now, I'm not saying I forgive him for what he's done or that he didn't have it coming from him. No one forced him to go above Eric's head to the Queen and try to get him killed. I can't forgive him for that. He deserved to be exiled, and I know given what Eric wanted to do to him, he's lucky to be around at all.

But Jessica's getting married soon. And Bill's just about the only family she has left.

I know he hasn't treated her right. He was too controlling, just like he is towards everyone else, and he wasn't really teaching her a whole lot before he was forced to leave, but I know she misses having a mentor figure. Isabella can only help so much, I imagine. I wouldn't really know.

I just keep thinking Jess isn't gonna have anyone to walk her down the isle. If they have a human ceremony, that is. She and Hoyt announced their engagement to be married, not to be bonded, so I'm assuming it'll be a human ceremony.

Anyway, I'm assuming her real daddy's not gonna come, and I can't imagine Bill will get a pardon from the king or queen to be there. It's just… sad. And I know it's not my fault, really. Bill's betrayal goes back even before he met me. It's just hard not to think that if he'd never found out about me, he wouldn't have gotten himself into trouble. Though, I guess then Jessica never would've been turned, never would've come to Bon Temps, and never would've met Hoyt. And I might not have met Eric.

Weird how one little decision can change the course of so many lives, isn't it?

I guess that means I should quit feeling guilty about the whole thing. Maybe.